Helicopter Parents: Why are some parents so overprotective?

Many of today's parents might have partied like it was 1999 during the 90s but the party is over. These overprotective mommies and daddies have children now and they're watching them like hawks. No matter where their children are, they're never too far away.

Most parents certainly mean well. They want the best for their children. Of course, parents should be a positive part of their children's lives. We all want parents to care about their children's success, emotional state, and progress. But occasionally, some parents may just go overboard-- which can be a detriment to their children's ability to learn self reliance.

A helicopter parent is one who hovers over their child and swoops in at any sign of discomfort or challenge. They are considered by most to be overprotective.

Parents can be overprotective for all different reasons. Here are a few:

1. Need for control: Parents can not control the terrorists. They can not control the kidnappers or the pedophiles. They can, however, control how their children spend their time and of course, with whom.

2.Bigger, Better, Faster: Children who are learning skills are usually slower and less adept than their parents. Therefore, it's not surprising for parents to feel that "It will be faster, bigger, bolder, and just plain better if I take charge."

3. Fear the failure: These Moms and Dads can not stand by and watch their child feel inadequate, unprepared, or miserable in any way. It is too heartbreaking. They feel it is their responsibility to protect their child from these negative feelings.

4. Desire to live vicariously: These Moms and Dads spend their time doing a large amount of their child's work and looking for acceptance and approval for their own performance. They throw themselves into every activity their child does and take it personally when their child does not succeed.

5. Entitlement: These parents are constantly checking to see how you are treating their child in comparison to others. They keep their eyes on everyone else's plate. They believe that their child should get more of your time, additional energy from your staff, and lots of free "extras." If it will help their child, they will ask for it.

6. Need to keep them young: Some parents don't like the idea of their children growing up. When children are dependent on their parents, parents can feel needed and wanted.

It takes a very patient, secure parent to allow their children to employ self reliance. Children who are self reliant are confident in their own skills and therefore, are more apt to go after their dreams.

Author: Dr Robyn Silverman

Known as "The Character Queen," Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman is a child development specialist, success coach, and parenting expert. Her tips-based style makes her a favorite among both parents and teachers. She's the creator of the Powerful Words Character Toolkit, a character education system used in children's after-school and day-care programs. For more information or to contact Dr. Robyn, please visit her Powerful Parenting Blog at http://www.DrRobynsBlog.com or her website at http://www.DrRobynSilverman.com

Keywords :parents, children, overprotective, self reliance, helicopter parents, teachers, parenting, success

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