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Helicopter Parents: Why are some parents so overprotective?
Many of today's parents might have partied like it
was 1999 during the 90s but the party is over. These
overprotective mommies and daddies have children now
and they're watching them like hawks. No matter where
their children are, they're never too far away.
Most parents certainly mean well. They want the best
for their children. Of course, parents should be a positive
part of their children's lives. We all want parents
to care about their children's success, emotional state,
and progress. But occasionally, some parents may just
go overboard-- which can be a detriment to their children's
ability to learn self reliance.
A helicopter parent is one who hovers over their
child and swoops in at any sign of discomfort or challenge.
They are considered by most to be overprotective.
Parents can be overprotective for all different
reasons. Here are a few:
1. Need for control: Parents can not control
the terrorists. They can not control the kidnappers
or the pedophiles. They can, however, control how their
children spend their time and of course, with whom.
2.Bigger, Better, Faster: Children who are learning
skills are usually slower and less adept than their
parents. Therefore, it's not surprising for parents
to feel that "It will be faster, bigger, bolder,
and just plain better if I take charge."
3. Fear the failure: These Moms and Dads can
not stand by and watch their child feel inadequate,
unprepared, or miserable in any way. It is too heartbreaking.
They feel it is their responsibility to protect their
child from these negative feelings.
4. Desire to live vicariously: These Moms and
Dads spend their time doing a large amount of their
child's work and looking for acceptance and approval
for their own performance. They throw themselves into
every activity their child does and take it personally
when their child does not succeed.
5. Entitlement: These parents are constantly
checking to see how you are treating their child in
comparison to others. They keep their eyes on everyone
else's plate. They believe that their child should get
more of your time, additional energy from your staff,
and lots of free "extras." If it will help
their child, they will ask for it.
6. Need to keep them young: Some parents don't
like the idea of their children growing up. When children
are dependent on their parents, parents can feel needed
and wanted.
It takes a very patient, secure parent to allow
their children to employ self reliance. Children who
are self reliant are confident in their own skills and
therefore, are more apt to go after their dreams.
Author: Dr Robyn Silverman
Known as "The Character Queen," Dr. Robyn
J.A. Silverman is a child development specialist, success
coach, and parenting expert. Her tips-based style makes
her a favorite among both parents and teachers. She's
the creator of the Powerful Words Character Toolkit,
a character education system used in children's after-school
and day-care programs. For more information or to contact
Dr. Robyn, please visit her Powerful Parenting Blog
at http://www.DrRobynsBlog.com
or her website at http://www.DrRobynSilverman.com
Keywords :parents, children, overprotective, self
reliance, helicopter parents, teachers, parenting, success
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