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NLP Secrets: 6 Ways To Build Rapport With Anyone
Rapport is one of the core concepts of Neuro-linguistic
Programming (NLP) and it can help you get better results
from your communication and marketing.
Improving your rapport building skills can help you:
- Make more sales.
- Get a better job.
- Win better deals in negotiations.
- Make powerful speeches and presentations.
You can say that you have rapport with someone when
there is a comfortable feeling of confidence and trust
between you.
Think about a time when you were in a conversation
with someone and the two of you were naturally in sync.
You probably felt as though you were speaking with
your thoughts as much as with your words.
You can easily choose to build that level of rapport
with another person or a group of people.
Where there is strong rapport, people understand each
other more easily and there is potential for effective
communication.
You've already done this many times throughout your
life but you may not have recognized what you were doing.
Six Ways to Build Rapport
We generally like people who are like ourselves
in some way. So you build rapport by making the
other person feel that you have something in common.
The key to this is matching something about them
or their behavior. Here are six things you can match
in another person to build rapport:
Words: Matching the way someone talks is a good
way to build rapport with them. Take note of the words
they use which indicate their sensory preferences (such
as visual, auditory or kinesthetic) and use similar
words and phrases in your own communication. You should
also try to use any key words or phrases that they use
a lot, such as "Alright", "Actually",
"You know what I mean".
Physiology: Copying the posture, facial expressions,
hand gestures or movements of someone you are talking
to will cause their body to say unconsciously to their
mind that this person is like me! You don't have to
match them exactly - for example if they are tapping
their fingers, you can move your feet with a similar
rhythm.
Voice: If the person talks slowly and deliberately,
for example, he will feel comfortable if you are the
same way.
Breathing: If two people in conversation are
breathing very differently, e.g. in depth or speed of
breathing, both of them would feel uncomfortable. So
you may need to match their rhythm of breathing.
How they deal with information: Some people
are detail-oriented while others prefer their information
brief. If you get this wrong, the detail-oriented person
will be yearning for more facts or the big-picture person
will soon be yawning!
Common experiences: If you travel somewhere
and meet a stranger who turns out to be from your hometown,
you will quickly have a lively conversation. It's rarely
so clear-cut but the secret is to find some commonality.
If people have some matching experiences, interests
or backgrounds, rapport is much easier.
To build effective rapport you must be an exceptional
observer so that you notice little things about people.
You also need to be subtle in using these techniques
but typically the other person will not notice it.
You can develop your ability to observe other people
to such an extent that you will begin to see and even
predict their reactions to what you say.
Once you have established rapport, you can start changing
the other person's viewpoint to more closely match your
own. This is called leading. Do this slowly, and you
will elicit a positive response. You will notice them
starting to adopt your mannerisms and enthusiasm. However,
do it too quickly and you will blow your rapport.
Once you have mastered the skills of rapport building,
you will find that you can lead virtually anyone and
any group, large or small, in the direction you wish.
As with most things, rapport-building techniques become
more effective the more you use them so it's important
that you practice whenever possible. You can practice
building rapport with strangers at the grocery store
or even in line at the coffee shop.
It can be a lot of fun and also very profitable!
Author: Robert Greenshields
Robert Greenshields is a marketing success coach and
certified NLP trainer. He helps business people who
are frustrated that they're not achieving the success
they want. Download his free guide to transforming yourself
at http://www.DiscoverNLPandHypnosis.com
Keywords :NLP, hypnosis, rapport, Neuro-linguistic
Programming
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