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How To Save Your Marriage: Marriages REALLY Can
Last Forever
Its a fact that more marriages end in divorce than
those that last. It used to be that marriages really
were
forever. The phrase "till death do us part"
was actually meant when it was uttered during wedding
vows.
Now, we see or hear about celebrities who marry for
18 hours and couples that get hitched only to get legal
status in one country or another.
Marriage is not a word that should be taken lightly,
yet it is on a daily basis. But what do you do when
your marriage is starting to fall apart, when everything
you want is slowly slipping away?
You rescue it.
1) Rescuing the Relationship
To save your relationship, you must first figure out
what is causing it to fall apart. Do you and your spouse
talk about things, or are you too busy working and raising
your family to discuss whats going on?
Have you gone on a date in the last six months? Do
you fight and argue all the time, or has one of you
cheated on the other?
What is causing the relationship to break down? Lets
face it; you don't just wake up one morning and say;I
think I'd like a divorce today.
In order to figure out whats going (or gone) wrong
in your relationship, you need to take a step back from
your feelings to observe what is going on.
If you fight frequently, write down the things you
fight about. Write down the amount of time you've spent
together in the last few days, and write down what you
were doing when you weren't spending time together.
You will want to get everything straight in your head
before you start to talk to your spouse about your problems
and what you think might be damaging your relationship.
2) Talking - It Is Not Overrated
After you have gathered your information, approach your
spouse. Make sure you go into the discussion calmly
and rationally. You also want to make sure that you're
not accosting or accusing, but rather asking and questioning.
If you go into the talk too aggressively, you are going
to turn them off and nothing will get answered or resolved.Make
sure you lay everything out on the table, from the things
that are bothering you to the things that you wish you
did more of together.
Explain that you want to know how your spouse is feeling,
and that you care about where they want the relationship
to go.
3) Scheduling
If you have a busy schedule, you may want to make an
appointment to have this discussion. Actually, making
a schedule for the two of you on a weekly basis is an
excellent idea.
All parents know that children thrive on routine, which
is why they have a time to wake up, a time to eat, and
a time to go to bed. Relationships thrive on a somewhat
of a timed schedule, as well.
For instance, I have a friend whose husband and herself
spend every Saturday night together. They have young
children, so most of the time they stay in instead of
going out. They will rent a movie and either get take-out
or some quick meal they can throw together once the
kids have gone to bed.
They would leave the lights on in the living room long
enough to eat their meal, and then, once thats done,
they put the dishes in the sink (they will still be
there the next day, so theres no reason to spoil the
mood
by doing them), turn the lights off and snuggle together
to watch the rest of the movie.
They don't talk about anything except the movie, and
make sure that they are touching each other as much
as we can.
It is not un-romantic to schedule time to be with your
spouse. Make sure that you get some time together, whether
its going out together, or staying in watching a movie.
Sometimes you can pull out a board game, add some alcohol,
and have a great night being silly together.
As you get along in your relationship, you come to
take each other for granted. Spending fun, relaxing
time
together is one great way to get your relationship back
on track.
If you're thinking about filing for divorce because
you can't stand the fighting anymore, stop. Think about
why you are fighting, and try to put yourself in your
partner's shoes.
When you love each other and put a little work into
it, marriages really can last forever.
Author: Cucan Pemo
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meant to live your Lives TOGETHER, watch this FREE Video
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