The Significance of Eye Contact

Many of my executive clients are challenged to remember the names of the multitude of individuals working for and around them. They buy books on name recognition and about creating new habits. For the most part, this works, at least for a while.

What is their goal? In the rush of their fast-paced days, these leaders simply want others to know how much they care, to make their employees feel valued and appreciated.

Can one can accomplish the same connection without the pressure to remember names, but instead with the pleasure of sincere eye contact?

In First Impressions, What You Don't Know About How Others See You, authors Ann Demarais, Ph.D. and Valerie White, Ph.D. write the following about eye contact:

Eye contact is a clear indication of interest, especially in American culture. We normally look others in the eye most of the time we are talking to them. The rest of the time we may be looking at their mouths, other parts of their faces, or briefly away. If you know your own eye-contact pattern, you are in a position to control the messages you want to send. If you want to show interest, you can hold your gaze longer, even just a fraction of a second longer than normal. Most people are very aware of being looked at and will feel this small difference—getting the message that you like them or find them appealing.

I know from my years of teaching networking workshops, that the main reason you might forget names is that you are distracted by what you are going to say to this person, thus focusing on yourself rather than the individual with whom you are speaking. It would be so simple to just change your focus to them!

I've also learned that only 7% of what you communicate is in the form of 'words.' The remaining 93% is in body language which includes eye contact. According to Demarais and White, it only takes four seconds to make a first impression. In those four seconds do you think genuine eye contact would speak louder than stumbling to remember a name?

This week, release your inner pressure to remember names. Focus instead on a deeper form of recognition and communication that you care -- look deeply into the artwork of each individual's eyes. See what new understanding this eye contact brings to you and to the recipient of your effort. Enjoy your discoveries and have a grand week.

Author: Ann Golden Egle

Ann Golden Eglé, Master Certified Coach and President of Golden Visions Success Coaching can be reached at 541-385-8887 or http://www.GVSuccess.com

Keywords :recognition, eye contact, body language

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