To Know or Not to Know

Clients often come to me in the state of panic: "I want to make a change, but don't know how to do it!" I instantly quiet them down with a question: "Is it OK not to know?" It never occurred to them that when they are in a state of transition, conflict, or growth it is simply 'OK' not to know what their next move will be.

'Not knowing' your next move is something to celebrate as it opens up a multitude of possibilities. We often react to new situations based on how we've handled similar past scenarios, irrespective of whether our past actions provided our desired results.

This repetitive behavior is the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Here are a few statements that have helped my clients moving forward. "I want a change and don't know what it is at this moment." "I want more balance, though I don't exactly know what that looks like at this moment." "I want a more loving relationship with my spouse, even though I don't know how to get there just yet."

This is an excellent beginning. In asking these questions, we enter into new experiences based on what we want, not what we've had. We open up to new possibilities. Let's explore just one of the above examples.

"I want more balance, though I don't exactly know what that looks like at this moment."

Clients share that balance typically means exercise to them. A typical challenge is this: they used to run or play basketball, but their joints will no longer support these activities so now they are lost.

Somewhere in the depths of their minds we discover a belief that if they don't exercise the way they used to, they're not exercising at all. Stating "I don't know what comes next" relaxes them. They can now contemplate other options without the heaviness of 'having to know.'

Perhaps they decide to take a month or two to decide. Is it yoga? Go to a few different yoga classes to see if there is a fit? Perhaps it is Pilates, skiing, swimming, meditative walking? Not knowing the answer immediately allows freedom to explore options and come up with more desirable results that will fit the new you, not the old you.

This week, explore assumptions in the depths of your mind. What options open up to you if you simply give yourself permission to 'not know?' Enjoy your discoveries and have a grand week.

Author: Ann Golden Egle

For the sake of keeping your career fresh and on track, would you like to enjoy a weekly shot-in-the-arm from Master Certified Coach Ann Golden Eglé? You can sign up for her Success Thought of the Week at http://www.gvsuccesscoaching.com .

Keywords : ok not to know; not knowing

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